


The Light of Darkness

by TatianaMalfoy



Series: It's been a long long time [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Character Death, Explicit Language, F/M, Loki (Marvel) Lives, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 02:49:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18769672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TatianaMalfoy/pseuds/TatianaMalfoy
Summary: Reader was in a relationship with Tony Stark until Civil War happened. After that, their paths diverge. Find out who's by her side through Infinity War and Endgame.DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ENDGAME!!!! You've been warned.





	The Light of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Marvel nor any of the characters used in here belong to me, except a tiny terror. I'm making no profit from this and I only get a bit of spiritual healing after endgame wrecked me. 
> 
> Loki lives because no infinity war or Russo brothers can kill him.  
> It's a sort of fix-it for endgame where Steve knows his happiness is and does not go chasing after a skirt. I have nothing against Peggy, but she was not worth the rupture between Steve and Bucky.  
> You will also find some of my personal views on Tony Stark, so you have been warned that they are pretty acidic. 
> 
> Song mentioned and quoted in the last line is "It's been a long, long time" by Harry James and his orchestra.

**Hours after the events of Civil War- Stark Tower**

I’m brought out of my slumber by Friday’s soft and tinkling voice.  
“Boss has returned, Miss L/N.”  
I groggily wipe my eyes and sit up, blindingly putting on my robe.  
“Medbay, Fri?” I ask, walking out of our bedroom.  
“His lab actually, Miss…and may I suggest you perhaps hurry to get there?!?”  
I frown, but quicken my steps nonetheless. “Is he hurt? Why isn’t he in Medbay with professional doctors and not DUMM-E if he’s hurt?”  
My frown deepens as Friday lets out a noise that can only be considered a pained sigh.  
“Boss isn’t in need of a doctor now…but he is quickly on his way to alcohol poisoning”, she admits and I gasp and break into a run towards the elevator, where Friday has already opened the doors for me.  
“What the hell happened, Friday?”, I snap as the elevator starts its descent.  
My hands twitch and once again I curse Tony for freezing me out of Friday while he’s on a mission. He claims it would only make me worry if Friday were to tell me in real time everything that takes place on the field. I gave up trying to explain that it would be the exact opposite and it would allow me to function properly knowing he’s still alive.  
“Is he alone? Where are the others?” I ask as the elevator stops and I exit.  
“I think it’s best Boss tells you about it, Miss L/N.”  
Fuck! I growl, frustrated and getting more worried by the second. The music is blasting, he is drinking and Friday isn’t telling me anything. This must have gone so sideways it reached China.  
Friday opens the lab door and stops the music as I stop in the threshold, struck by the picture painted by Tony: half of the suit on, the other half in pieces, destroyed and on the floor, bloody and having already drunk more than half a bottle of whiskey.  
“Fri, call Dr. Cho-”  
“Already did, Miss. She is on route and should be here soon.”  
“Thank you, Fri” I whisper.  
“Could you stop talking with my AI as if I weren’t here?” Tony snaps, chugging from the bottle again.  
“I will if you stop drinking and tell me what the hell is going on? Why are you trying to put your liver in a coma? Where have you been? The others returned two days ago, but they only told me that Bucky and Steve took off. Why did only Vision, Rhodey and Nat returned? Where are the others?...And on that note, taking a 16 year old into battle? With Captain America and the Winter Soldier and Wanda?!? Are you insane? Do-”  
“He killed them,” he whispers, cutting off my rant.  
“What?” I asked shocked. “Peter? Who did the kid kill? Nat and Rhodey didn’t say anything about that. How is he holding up?”  
“No, not Parker,Y/N. Bucky…he killed them.”  
I frown, lost and not able to follow his train of thought. Was Steve wrong? Did Bucky really blow up the UN in Berlin?  
“You mean the UN, Tony? But Steve-”  
“DON’T say his name!” he yells, throwing the bottle of whiskey past my head, making me flinch.  
“Boss,” Friday warns and I see Mark 79 come to life in the corner of the lab.  
“Don’t say that son of a bitch’s name, Y/N!” Tony yells, ignoring Friday and sitting up and struggling for a few moments to find his balance.  
“Whose name, Tony?” I yell back. “I have no idea what or whom you’re talking about! Friday isn’t allowed to tell me anything, remember?”  
“Rogers, Barnes, either, both”, he yells again, moving around.  
I gasp loudly and my confusion deepens, dread filling my stomach when I spy Steve’s shield behind Tony.  
“Tony…babe, why do you have Steve’s shield? Is he-”  
“Because he killed my parents!” Tony shouted, cutting me off and making me gasp again.  
“Steve?!!? But Howard was his friend- Wait, that’s not even the point. Steve was in ice when Howard and Maria died. How-”  
“Not Rogers. Barnes. But Rogers knew and he never told me.”  
“Bucky? But he was already the Winter Soldier when Howard and Maria died-were killed, you know what I mean. Did he break the programming or something? But if he did break it, why kill them? They knew each other since the 40s.”  
“Barnes, Winter Soldier, the same fucker who killed my parents and Steve took his side.”  
I didn’t know which one to address first.  
“Tony…Barnes was tortured and had his brain wiped again and again-”  
“I don’t care, the fucker killed my parents.”  
I was getting pissed off because he kept interrupting me just to ramble stuff that didn’t make sense and to curse Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers.  
“Okay, let me see if I managed to get this. So the Winter Soldier killed Maria and Howard. Steve knew and didn’t tell you. I’m guessing you fought and somehow you ended up with Steve’s shield. Right?”  
“Yes, Y/N. Yes. Bucky Barnes killed my parents. Steve took his side. We fought. I blew up Barnes’s arm and took back my shield when he tried to walk away with it and Barnes.”  
I’m shocked still by Tony’s words.  
“Why? And what do you mean your shield??! Were you drunk already?”  
“No, Y/N. It needed to be done-”  
“Of course,” I cut him off, snorting disbelievingly. “Answer me this, did you or did you not blame Clint for what he did during the Chitauri invasion?”  
“No, of course not” he instantly answers as he starts taking off the remains of his suit.  
“Why not?”  
“Why not?!? Because it was Loki, Y/N!”  
“And this was HYDRA, Tony!” I yell, throwing my hands up. “It wasn’t Bucky.”  
“He still pulled the trigger!”  
“He was brainwashed. He even tried to kill Steve, his brother.”  
“Maybe it would have been for the best,” he mumbled, not expecting me to hear him.  
I froze and by the way his body tensed I could see that he realized I had heard him  
“I can’t believe you just said that. Is that why you took his shield?”  
“It’s not his! My father made it. He made it for him. And I was his friend and he didn’t tell me. He chose Barnes so I took MY property back.”  
I stared at him in suspended disbelief.  
“Ok, so maybe Steve could have handled this better and told you. No point crying over spilt milk now. We will never know how you would’ve reacted in that case. But did you really expect Steve to choose you over Bucky?”  
“I was his friend” he snapped at me.  
“And Bucky is his brother. By all accounts, Bucky probably is the only reason Steve lived long enough to become Captain America. Not only he didn’t choose you over him, he would never choose anyone over him!”  
I’m breathing heavily by the end of my rant and he’s silent for a few moments, processing what I just said. The sneer that took over his face that nothing good was following.  
“I should’ve known you’d take his side. You always do.”  
“I don’t even know Bucky Barnes. And it’s not about sides here. It’s about family and friends!”  
“Not Barnes. Rogers. Do you know how it looked when my own girlfriend took his side and advised him not to sign the Accords?”  
“And even knowing what I know now, I would do the same,” I snapped.”  
“Unbelievable” he says, looking at me as if he heard me wrong.  
“You had no right to demand he give you his shield. Because I don’t believe Steve would’ve simply handed it to you.”  
“Are you deaf? Barnes killed my parents and Steve chose him over them,” Tony hissed at me.  
“And up until a few hours ago when shit didn’t go your way you hated your father,” I yell, having had enough with his holier than thou attitude.  
He stepped back as if slapped.  
“I get it, ok? It was the shock of finding out, but for fuck’s sakes, Tony, one of the first things you told mv was that Howard fucked you up and how you hated him and how it was his fault you were an alcoholic for over half of your life. And now you’re betrayed on his behalf? Hypocrite much?”  
“He killed my mother!”  
“And she did what she could, but she isn’t the saint you make her out to be either, Tony.”  
“Don’t you ever say that again!” he yells as he stalks towards me, Mark 79 quickly jumping in his path.  
“She loved you, Tony. No one can or will deny that, but she allowed Howard to treat you the way he did and did nothing to truly pull you out of the hole you were digging for yourself. So please, just because they didn’t let go of your principles to clean up your mess again, don’t take it out on them!” I say and turn my back to him to walk towards the lab door.  
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asks, following me.  
“It means that the others cleaned up Ultron and Sokovia even though it was your mess to begin with and because you felt guilty you just had to go talk to Ross about the Accords instead of talking to your team. Again!”  
“Wanda-”  
“Is learning! What’s your excuse?”  
“I took care of the nu-”  
“Nuke! Yes, Tony, we know. Everybody and their dead grandmas know. You make sure to remind us of that every time someone comes up with an idea that isn’t kissing your ass. I’ll remind you that the others were doing what they physically could and that Thor could have done it too, had he been given the chance and the choice. No one forced you to take it, Tony. So please, grow up and stop stomping your feet like a 3 year old. It’s unbecoming of the son of Howard and Maria Stark.”  
“Get out!” he yelled pointing at the door.  
“Gladly! Consider this my resignation from the company and from this relationship” I say as I exit the lab and Friday closes the doors behind me.  
“Miss Y/N-”  
“It was a pleasure, Friday! Take care of him, will you? And call Rhodey here…”

**Meeting room after Tony and Nebula get back to Earth**

“…you said we would lose together too. Guess what? We lost. And you weren’t there!”  
I could feel my pressure climbing as I entered the room and heard the last part of Tony’s speech. I could see Steve was getting ready to answer, but I beat him to it.  
“Because thanks to you and your accords, we’re not allowed on US soil without getting arrested, asshole. So don’t start with the same bullshit of passing on the blame. It has gotten old!”  
Everyone turned towards me as I stopped next to Steve and put my arms around his waist, his own moving to rest on my hips instantly.  
“We? Since when are you in the same category as them?” Tony asks.  
Steve and I share a look and I snort.  
“Should I live in this country and have my husband run around the world alone? Never mind this,” I say, moving a hand in the direction of my bump. “How would I explain it to my child? Oh yeah, baby, daddy isn’t with us because an asshole thought he knew better and got him and your aunts and uncles banned from the country?!? That would go down well, right?”  
You could hear a pin drop in the silence that followed.  
“Doll…” Steve began, but I cut him off. Hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman.  
“No, Steve. We lost Bucky and Wanda and Vision and Sam and T’Challa and Shuri and M’Baku, need I go on? Why was Peter there with you in the first place, Stark? Because you were the one that got him in the arena with the big boys, when you brought him to Berlin, but you weren’t there to pull him out. So don’t blame Steve and don’t blame us for your failures. Again. I won’t allow it anymore. No, Sir. My husband and the rest of our family were fighting where and how they could to keep the world safe. Unlike you, who were busy planning a wedding and only got involved in the fight when it landed in your back yard. So get off your high horse and help us do something about it. Or go away. We lost brothers and sisters and friends. The entire world did, Stark. Now, are you gonna do something about it or are you gonna hide your head in the sand?!?”  
Claps were heard and we all turned to watch Loki walk into the room and take a seat next to where Steve and I were standing.  
“I like this one,” he grinned and shot a smirk in Tony’s direction.  
“Loki,” Thor started, a warning clear in his voice  
“Thank you, your Highness”, I cut him off and Loki beams in my direction when I grin at him.  
“You made your point, doll. Now please calm down. It is not good for the little one,” Steve says, moving hands from my hips to my bump and feeling the little one kicking up a storm.  
“You need not worry, Captain Rogers. Your little one is strong like both of his parents,” Loki tells us, a smile on his face. “I can sense his aura and he's quite comfortable where he is right now.”  
“He?!?” we both gasp.  
“He,” both Thor and Loki confirm.  
It comes to no surprise when Tony leaves, refusing to help.

**5 YEARS LATER**

I was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee while Cassie, Scott Lang’s daughter was texting one of her friends. James was upstairs asleep, and we were both waiting for news. Steve and Scott refused to have us anywhere near the compound when they tried to bring the others back. Steve told me that Tony had left Pepper and Morgan with Happy at their lake house as well.  
I was chewing on a nail when Cassie let out a shriek. I was out of the chair, pointing my gun in all over the place trying to see where the danger was coming from.  
“Y/N, they did it! They did it!”  
“What?” I ask, adrenaline rushing through my veins.  
“Dad and the others. They did it. They brought everyone back!” she shouts, waving her phone in my face.  
“What?” I say again, but this time, my knees buckle and I sit on the chair in a daze. “How do you know?”  
“A friend of mine. Well, the mother of a friend of mine returned. They did it!”  
“They did it,” I whisper.  
They did it. But the cost was huge. We lost Captain Marvel when she used the glove again to stop Thanos. Nobody saw that coming. We lost Natasha for the soul stone. Bruce lost his arm. We lost Wakandans and we lost Asgardians and we lost some of Strange’s sorcerers. Wanda is learning to cope without Vision, but Loki has been of great help. Thor and Brunnhilde have been helping each other and the new Asgard. Clint and his family are back together, mourning Natasha. I doubt Clint will ever recover. While he loves Laura, Natasha was his soulmate. T’Challa and Okoye (I saw that one coming a mile away) are re-building Wakanda. Strange has reopened the New York Sanctuary and Tony and Shuri are competing for the best provider of tech to Peter Parker.  
“Where’s your mind at, doll?” Steve says as he enters the kitchen and wraps his arms around my waist as I cut some cake.  
“Just reminiscing, I guess. James is so big right now that the past caught up to me. Speaking of, where is the terror?”  
Steve giggles and kisses my neck before answering. “I left him playing with Buck and Sam.”  
As if on cue, the tiny terror came barreling into the kitchen and colliding with our legs, Buck and Sam quick on his heels.  
“Whatever he said, he’s lying!” Bucky said, pointing a finger in James’s direction. Sam is just looking between us, a smug and satisfied look on his face.  
“I’m not lying!” James said, crossing his arms over his chest. My heart clenched and Steve held me tighter for a moment. We were looking at a tiny copy of Steve. “I found Uncle Buck and Uncle Sam smooching!”  
“Nooo! Smooching!?? Really?” I play along as Steve laughs, his whole body shaking.  
“Didn’t I tell you he’s lying? Tell them Sam!” Bucky says, looking flushed and panicked.  
Sam is too busy looking smug to pay attention to the rapidly blushing Bucky Barnes.  
With a war cry, Bucky launches himself at James, who shrieks and slides between Bucky’s legs and past Sam and into the living room, Bucky quickly taking off after him.  
Sam shakes his head fondly and says “I’ll go before James breaks Bucky…And for the record, we were so smooching!”  
Steve and I both lose it and start laughing like mad.  
“Smooching?!? Rogers, that terror is so your child! It’s like he grew up with you in the 40s,” I say as Steve moves us from side to side to the soft music coming from the vinyl record player in the corner.  
“Between Buck and I, the kid never stood a chance, doll,” Steve admits, proud as he can be.  
“Hopefully, Sam and I will be able to help this one,” I whisper as I move Steve’s hand to my abdomen.

**Kiss me once and kiss me twice and kiss me once again…**

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't beta'd so please let me know if you find any mistakes!  
> Comments are appreciated and if you need a shoulder to cry on after endgame, I'll see you in the comment section!


End file.
